There’s a lot of talk about the character type ‘bully’ these days. If you are American and have working eyes and/or ears, it’s likely you’ve seen and/or heard references to that word of late. Because we all marinate in a cultural stewpot to some degree, aspects of one area of life tend to infuse into others. And so it is with this word ‘bully.’ I’m going to be frank, I don’t care for the word bully or what it stands for. In business, I’ve seen and worked with bully types. Never did I find the experience to be constructive or productive. Those of us who were interacting with the ‘bully’ spent way too much time reacting, posturing, cowering, pushing back—and way too little time actually working the task at hand. More than anything else, I noticed this trait jazzed up the energy, but primarily in response to the trait. Rarely, if ever, in service to a goal. Here’s the other thing…I have at times acted like a bully myself. I’m not proud of it by any means and I am watchful of it re-occurring. These days, it’s rare that it happens, but I remain vigilant. What I know about this characteristic is that it does not emerge from a place of true personal strength. Quite the opposite. It rears its rather ugly head from a place of weakness and fear. Bully behavior is an aspect or persona people pull out because they feel cornered in some way. It’s a big show to scare off the threat they consciously or unconsciously perceive. Behind the curtain, of course, it’s a much different story. To me, the bully persona has always felt like a child’s unhealthy reaction to things they believed were beyond their control—even when displayed by adults. Regardless of age, I believe it is always an undeveloped child’s reaction. I’m going on the record and saying I want to evolve beyond any inner bully. Instead, I want to show up open, understanding, curious, compassionate. Yes, I have a voice and a point of view, but I also want to stay open to perspectives of others. The truth is, I have no real idea of what the experience of life is like for other people. It’s important to me that I remember this and not get swamped by my own vantage point. Bottom line, we are in this life and work together. Everyday there are more folks on the bus. This is the time to connect, collaborate and evolve the inner bully. Bottom line—bully behavior is an effective way to generate (re)action, but a weak way to catalyze constructive action. Ego’s work best when they’re secure. Discover more here. 7 Ways...

Last Wednesday it was my great good fortune to attend a truly enjoyable networking event. As you may have read in an earlier blog, I have harbored a distaste for what I would call starchy or shark-tank-esque networking experiences. Yes, I’ve held unseemly judgment there and I’m not proud of that. This recent event, however, reframed the whole networking experience for me and pointed to a potential I hadn’t ever imagined—networking that’s fun, friendly, sincere, thought-provoking, collaborative and also, geared for business building and revenue generation. Who knew?! While there, I had a refreshing conversation with the event’s organizer and we got to talking about the word ‘success.’ As we both live and breathe the world of transformational leadership and business, success is a word we hear a lot. A lot. And, yes, it’s the big ‘go to’ word for companies and their leadership. Success this, success that. Or, in the case of individuals ’I want to be successful.’ But, here’s the thing about that word, it’s really more of a desire holder than an actual desire. It’s the suitcase that holds the clothes you want to wear. It wouldn’t make any sense to wear the suitcase. So, I say we demystify the word. Snap open the suitcase and look at the amazing contents inside. Your DESIRES. I’m not talking about the old programmed ‘go to’ crap. I’m talking about the gems that lie in our heart, in our inner dreamer’s dreams. All the stuff we’ve jammed in the suitcase throughout our life and then stoically, pragmatically, rationally shoved up in the attic to gather dust. That’s where the juice lies. If you want ‘success,’ grab the suitcase, pry open the lock and look inside. That is where you will learn what success actually means…to you. Success is an outcome. Before success comes action. The best and easiest action is fueled by desire. Desire greases wheels, generates flow, adds energy. Draft off of desire. Discover more...

Everyone has a different purpose for doing business. For some the mission that fuels the work is to launch an invention or new concept. For others it is about producing or supplying a needed product or service. For others it is strictly about making money. The list goes on and on. For many, it’s a combination of several factors. It all depends on the person, their experience, motivation, philosophy, desire. The truth is that we all possess our own lens and perception…about everything. There are no two people that see eye-to-eye right down the line. How could we? Not one of us share the same DNA and life experiences with any other person on the planet. We are each completely unique. The idea that we look at the world differently is no big surprise. The fact that there is so much alignment between folks is the more interesting piece for me. When you’re able to remove the chaff from the core, the ego from the heart, it’s amazing how closely we come together. There is some blueprint in we humans that seems to be shared on the deepest level. Getting there, however, can be tricky. Regardless of where you fall on the mission side of business, the truth is you can’t be and remain in business without generating revenue. How much one needs or wants to generate varies from person to person, but that revenue is being generated is absolutely required. For me, my number one business priority is to achieve my annual revenue goal. However, achieving my annual revenue goal is not my mission, nor the primary reason I started my business. That said, my primary business priority and mission, though distinct, are synergistic—they feed each other. Not only am I able to live and work with purpose, the money I generate in doing so allows me to extend and expand that work. Now, that’s what I call win-win. Regarding your business, do you have a ‘why’ that’s bigger than generating revenue? Discovering it could make all the difference to you and your company. The discovery starts here!...

My family is mostly a very mind-based group. We’re thinkers, debaters, studiers, researchers, contemplators, and analyzers. The brain is perceived by the gang as a highly touted bodily instrument, prized for its capacity and used a lot. Mental acuity is also employed as a kind of measuring stick—academic achievement praised, advanced degrees lauded. Likely due to this intellectual adoration, being right and having the right answer is not only a source of deep pride, but at times it can feel like a necessity for one’s ego. It was quite a shock to me when I learned that we were such a mind-based tribe. Moreover, that a good deal of our intellectual bluster tends to be connected to unrecognized fear and the need for control. Suddenly, I began to look at our head-oriented behavior in a very new way. Of course, I still have great regard for the instrument itself. But, now more clearly recognize its limitations, how it can be a go-to ego-survival tool, a way to posture oneself against this vast world of mystery. Moving down a foot or so from the brain lies another great center—the heart. Simply shifting my attention to that area helps me to feel a greater sense of calm. I don’t lose any of my intelligence when I reorient, but I increase my overall understanding on a deeper level. Moving down a foot lower and placing my attention in my gut, the grounding effect is even more powerful. Connecting up all three and you have the super trifecta. Business, too, tends to be primarily mind-based. No question it is immensely useful and necessary in that arena. But, there too it has its limitations. The mind lacks heart. It’s a recorder of data and a processer of reason and rationality—both of which are needed. However, what it doesn’t do well is connect deeply to human beings. Humans connect most powerfully by means of the heart and gut. Why does this matter? Because inspiration, desire, innovation, creation and high-level performance are often products of the heart and gut. It does not take a highly architected change to shift a business to become more heart and gut inclusive. In fact, a leader can set it in motion with nothing more than will and sincerity. How do they do it? They show up real and are authentic. They let themselves connect, they choose to trust, they communicate with their guard down, they ask for support. And through it all, minds are held safe and sound, ready for a task. Nothing is lost, much is gained. As in horse racing, the human trifecta is a big win. Head, heart and gut—a powerful trio in business. To balance out...

For years…or more accurately, decades, I’ve noodled the concept of ‘special.’ It seems most of us share a deep desire to both be seen as special and to fit in. In some ways, that can seem almost contradictory. But, it seems to work itself out most of the time. As a business coach/consultant/trainer/adviser, I see these needs show up often—in both leaders and their people. People long for a sense of being seen as singular in their skill, their competency, their contribution and also a longing to be one with the group. I find that companies that recognize these two essential human needs and work with them in a conscious way do better. Before anybody is tempted to mock the idea with a disparaging reference to the “everyone’s a winner!” campaign, I offer the following. Recognizing someone as special is not about a badge or canned moniker. It’s about looking someone in the eyes and sincerely saying ‘nice job’ when they do a nice job. It’s being aware and recognizing when someone goes above and beyond…even a little bit. Sometimes, it’s setting the bar just high enough to invite more and taking the time to acknowledge them when they make it happen. Creating a connected group that trusts and supports one another is similar, but dovetails slightly. Like with noticing someone’s special achievement, communicating appreciation is still critical. However here it’s important to weave a more united ‘we.’ Camaraderie is built on the connection that mutual trust and honesty forge. Inclusion is the bigger energy here—as a group entity is being formed. Being perceived as special and belonging are powerful human needs. Rather than being exclusive of one another, they can actually support and catalyze each other. Supporting the big human needs in the workplace is not about kowtowing to or going soft. Nor is it about campaigns or psycho-babble. It’s about attending to that which lifts and inspires people beyond a protective survival mindset and into greater potential. When critical human needs are attended to, we are much more likely to move into our greater potential.                       Discover more here!                           Discover 8 Powerful Ways to Energize Your...