Bully!
There’s a lot of talk about the character type ‘bully’ these days. If you are American and have working eyes and/or ears, it’s likely you’ve seen and/or heard references to that word of late. Because we all marinate in a cultural stewpot to some degree, aspects of one area of life tend to infuse into others. And so it is with this word ‘bully.’
I’m going to be frank, I don’t care for the word bully or what it stands for.
In business, I’ve seen and worked with bully types. Never did I find the experience to be constructive or productive. Those of us who were interacting with the ‘bully’ spent way too much time reacting, posturing, cowering, pushing back—and way too little time actually working the task at hand. More than anything else, I noticed this trait jazzed up the energy, but primarily in response to the trait. Rarely, if ever, in service to a goal.
Here’s the other thing…I have at times acted like a bully myself. I’m not proud of it by any means and I am watchful of it re-occurring. These days, it’s rare that it happens, but I remain vigilant. What I know about this characteristic is that it does not emerge from a place of true personal strength. Quite the opposite. It rears its rather ugly head from a place of weakness and fear.
Bully behavior is an aspect or persona people pull out because they feel cornered in some way.
It’s a big show to scare off the threat they consciously or unconsciously perceive. Behind the curtain, of course, it’s a much different story. To me, the bully persona has always felt like a child’s unhealthy reaction to things they believed were beyond their control—even when displayed by adults. Regardless of age, I believe it is always an undeveloped child’s reaction.
I’m going on the record and saying I want to evolve beyond any inner bully.
Instead, I want to show up open, understanding, curious, compassionate. Yes, I have a voice and a point of view, but I also want to stay open to perspectives of others. The truth is, I have no real idea of what the experience of life is like for other people. It’s important to me that I remember this and not get swamped by my own vantage point. Bottom line, we are in this life and work together. Everyday there are more folks on the bus. This is the time to connect, collaborate and evolve the inner bully.
Bottom line—bully behavior is an effective way to generate (re)action, but a weak way to catalyze constructive action. Ego’s work best when they’re secure.
Discover more here.